After a semester ends, I always look back and think "Did that just happen?" Time is such a crazy concept to me...
I just really want to take a minute to give God some major props (all the props actually) for being, well, amazing. I don't want to move on from this semester without recognizing God's hand that has been so richly evident in my life. You see, He has changed my perspective on life dramatically. He is so good about helping us in the most gentle way.
During my first year of school, I had chronic busy-ness. I had something planned for every night, either school related, or church related. I was always going somewhere, always rushing, never having enough time for myself or God, yet all the while placing way too much importance on my grades and letting all of my 'doing' define me. I then transitioned into a summer of working two jobs that didn't feel much like a summer break at all. Don't get me wrong, it was a very good year (Frank Sinatra, anyone?), but there were so many things I missed. In the moments when I wasn't 'doing,' I felt lonely and far away from God. But He is so patient. You see, God never stopped pursuing me. And after I came out of this season of worry and depression, I started to process the things that I needed to change. The Lord slowly started to reveal to me what my heart needed, really needed.
So after last summer, I was finished with being busy. I decided to slow down. I started to leave room in my life for others, for me, and for God. It was a learning process for sure. I had to stop letting what I do define who I am. I became okay with just being. I'm learning to let my identity come from Christ and Christ alone. Granted, I still have to balance everything with classes and working, but I'm free from the burden of trying to do everything and be everything for everyone. It's been a learning season for sure.
Lesson Numero Uno (and the most important of all): Do not sacrifice daily time with God, but sacrifice other things so that I have time to spend with God.
2) Family is important. Unlike before, I got to spend so much more time with my family. I hung out with my super cool siblings. My great grandparents had me over for dinner at their house. My grandma and I had some real quality time on weeknights. I have grown to truly love and appreciate the family that God has placed me in. They are such a gift.
3) Friendships are valuable. I realized that it was partly my own fault that I dealt with loneliness for so long. I didn't have time for people. There was no room in my life to build relationships. That had to change. I decided to start spending real, quality time with friends and mentors. I have gained some rich relationships, and had some stinking awesome Jesus talks that challenge and convict me in the best possible way. Even in the midst of school and work craziness, sometimes time with a dear friend is more important. Community helps us thrive. People sharpen us. They remind us who we are, and who we hope to be.
4) Leave room in your life to dream. We tend to get this 'nose to the ground' mentality and we forget to lift our eyes up and enjoy life. To wonder. To dream. To pursue those dreams, even if it's just one step at a time. Pursuing dreams can be a vulnerable place, and being vulnerable is not always fun. But if we never do anything that takes risk, where is the faith? We are going to make mistakes. Life hurts. Following Jesus is hard. But His grace is all-sufficient, His peace is beyond understanding, and His love is all-consuming.
Thank you, Jesus.
